Dethklan — Now, Then and FOREVER!

Kirk: Emigara
Mikey: Flance D. Sugman
Me: Andy Dickens

Mikey finally got his own GMod10 so we can go around in servers with more people and such. So we decided to test our skills and abilities on servers with freespace_06-v2-1 maps on them. We decided to go to a server called “Big_M’s Dedicated Server”, knowing full well that an admin isn’t around to watch us and start banning. So we made a few plans, for instance, making a garbage bin loading it with prop spawners that spawn explosive barrels frozen and then repeatedly pressing spawn to make them all cluter up and explode, leaving a mess.

Another one was to make a cargo container welded to a wall. You would put turrets inside of the cargo container, then, they would aim at a wall, pressing shoot would create particle spam and lag anyone in the Field of View. This would then cause not only any witnesses to lag, but to get away pretty fast in a tight situation. We had done this both of us running at 2 FPS but no crash. It was fun until…

Yet, we were interrupted by a pubescent voice that everyone hates who is owned by our good buddy, MICK! He was saying on mic “HAY GUYZ CHECK OUT MY BAYYYSEE. We looked around and found out where his base was

I got through the entrance of the base when he opened up the door and I hid in a corner as well as a prop in front of me. He looked around but didn’t find me, so I spawned a flat edged object and spawned 6 lag-spiking turrets and an invisible exploding barrel spawner. I flew off with noclip and started pressing both buttons and then suddenly LAGGGGGGGGGG. Kirk had placed a few prop spawners in there as well, so it was double the lag and power and less time.

So we were doing it all we could hear him crying about LAG, SPAM, IT WAS YOUUU, OMG, WTF and any other bullcrap he could spew out. He kept trying to say crap but the lag pushed his message about 30 seconds later. Then some innocent came and saw what the hell was happening and started saying MICK, STOP SPAMMING., we laughed and joined in saying crap like MICK, GET OUT YOU ARE SPAMMING, VOTE KICK.

So we get the whole server turn against Mick and he kept trying to say Shoot the barrels and see the owner, it was YOU Emigara!!. Yet, no one believed him, so he kept trying to get us in trouble when Mikey came in.

Mikey came in claiming to be the Admin and started saying crap like What the, did you do to my server?!. Mick replied on mic, “WTF IT WASNT MEEE~.” Mikey in-game shook his head in disgust and blurted out “Then who was it?,” Mick Go check the barrels they have the owners name, Mikey then said OK and ran away from the scene as far as he could then said MICK IT WAS YOU, YOU LIAR. Mick started crying on mic and started saying NOOO, IT WAS EMIGARA.

By this time, we decided just to talk to him and undone everything. After everything was gone, Mikey then said “Why did you throw away your barrels I already know it was you.” Poor old Mick defended himself to the end. We kept saying “VOTE KICK MICK, MICK GET OUT, MICK STOP SPAMMING” It was all said and done until…

Well, He just basically said “Fuck it” and left, we celebrated our victory by spamming his abandoned base with barrels and leaving. I recorded a demo but my computer crashed and all that survived was the images.

Me and Mikey are at it again! My name this time is Kira and his is LaDIES.

We join this server called Dave’s Server and there’s one thing about, Dave’s no where to be seen. So we join to get some lulz. This server is packing a mod where you cannot make a launcher or a laser without reputation points. Which you need to stay in the game. So instead, we used 2 turrets. I used my trusty old CamoMingerKiller Mach 3. Mikey used a barrel and attached was 2 turrets Mach 4. There was a few people on and they had made a obstacle course. Yet, the author took it down because he got all mad for no reason like daxflame. I shot at him and he left and rob went FUCKING INSANE.

I got prompted with this colorful message

KICK KIRA

So me and Mikey sat there and read that message and basically said, let’s fuck with him.

I scoped him out with my machine and shot at him again. This time he went worse than we predicted, he started saying I WILL SPAM THE SERVER IF YOU DONT. We caught in the midst of PMS and he had counted down the Server’s fate one by one the seconds went by. I kept a close eye on him. It was 0 and then suddenly trucks. After it was all said and done, his idea of spamming was spawning 7 trucks and leaving it there. It was rather boring, No thrusters, no weight editing, nothing.

All of his “spam” was able to fit in this tiny image. Noticing that there are no admins on, we started to panic. I found out where he was hiding and he died from my bullets. He promptly replied to it yelling kira stop, you are being a fa, you bitch, GO SUCK A COCK YOU FUCKIN HORE There was many grammer issues and spelling mistakes where as, the first time around reading it went like Kira, Stop, Please, You are being a fat, you bitch! Go suck a cock you fucking horse.

I simply replied with No, you are being the idiot spamming after you got mad over getting shot Of course, I was using complete sentences and thoughts. He replied with YOUR SPAM SHOOTING ME, FUCK YOU, WHORE YOU SLUT FUCKER

I shot him again. stop, omg but this time he was fed up with the shootings and started yelling at himself STOP, YOU FUCKEN WHORE GO SUCK A DICK KIRA ILL FUCKEN KILL YOU and he did his last meltdown and left.

This raid is so memorial here at Dethklan, Mikey and I made a poem that mimics Fate/Stay Night’s Unlmited Blade Works:

I am the bone of my spam.
Spawning is my body, and rage is in my blood.
I’ve created over 7 trucks.
Unaware of packet loss.
Nor aware of spam
With stood pain to create trucks.
Waiting for one’s lag
I have no success. This is the only path.
My whole life was “Unlimited rage works”

Here’s the Screenshot of all his yelling: