It’s been awhile since Mecklenburg has seen the likes of Gay Glenn, but we had to lay low for special reasons. The Dickens had a family reunion in Ultimate Gaming Classic RP, in which they apparently employ over 10 police officers per day.

The raid started off with just Buff playing the piano on the mic and him getting banned for 5 mins. I layed low while everyone was proud of the admin for banning Andy Dickens for 5 mins. I hung out in the PD while Buff got back in as “Adny Dackens” and the server didn’t suspect a thing.

Then, out of nowhere, someone started counting ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE on the microphone. The server was generally confused until the trumpets started blazing in and the server had an outcry of “OH NO ITS ANDY DICKENS”

They then banned Adny Dackens for 20 mins, and everyone gave the admin another pat on the back. At this point, however, Helios had joined the rade as Paul Simmons. I asked the admins for a jawb, but they didn’t give it to me because the admin kept going AFK because he was searching google for the trumpet sound.

Then I finally got my job as a Hitman, and Andy Dickens had returned at last to play the trumpet for us all. The admin had left entirely and it was simply me, Helios, and Buff on a server with 50 police men.

I ran around the server spamming “((HIT ACCEPTED))”

At first all I did was walk around aimlessly, but eventually I learned to beat the shit out of people. Being a hitman gave me a free excuse to DM people, so I spammed “((HIT ACCEPTED))” and beat the shit out of everybody that I saw.

Meanwhile, Helios got jailed for punching me because my hit was accepted and Buff was still counting off ONE, TWO, THREE, BUM BUM BUM BEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BOW!

An admin came back and finally started to catch on to my clever scheme. I went around accepting hits from everybody and I beat the shit out of everybody that I saw, especially the cops. They kept trying to jail me but my hits were accepted so they couldn’t do anything but listen to trumpets.

Finally, the admin banned me even though my hits were accepted. I tried to explain to him that I’m a hitman, but I was too busy accepting hits and beating the shit out of mingebags to care. Plus the trumpets were fucking awesome.

TSRPRaiders: Mickey, Helios, Buff, Hank
Unknowing Helpers: Pantsu

Original Names (That we started out with):
Hank – Manny “The Taxadermist” Sukert
Mickey – Emiya Shirou
Buff – Vash ‘Stampede’ Williams
Helios – Tyrone Biggums the Third

This raid started off nicely for us thanks to Pantsu’s previous efforts to join the Yakuza on H-Finest RP. Pantsu did so using Mickey’s steam account, so when all 4 of us logged on Mickey was part of the Yakuza, which gave us free access to some guns and gay techno music.

We waited awhile for Helios to connect because he had to download 18 cars, so we didn’t do too much during that time. However, while I was in the Yakuza hideout with Mickey another Yakuza logged on. Me and Mickey had to make an epic escape so that he wouldn’t be fired for being a mingebag.

Finally, Helios logged on and the fun began. Mickey, for some weird ass reason, had some Acid (as in the drug) on him so he decided to use it. He got arrested and jailed for “being under the influence in public.” Me and Buff decided that we couldn’t have our Yakuza friend in jail, so we sat around ominously in the Police Station hoping the jail bars would explode and he’d be free. It didn’t work.

During this time, we have no fucking idea where the hell Helios was but he’s not really important yet.

We thought we had lost Mickey forever to the darkness of the jail cell, when suddenly a Honda employee named “Chris ‘Honda Co-Owner’ Redfield” wanted to hire Mickey as a loyal servant of the Iron Fist Communist Dictatorship that is Honda. The cop decided that Chris was too scary, so he let Mickey out and Chris told Mickey to follow him to the Honda Offices. I followed behind Mickey and infiltrated the Honda base. Mickey was being hired, but Mickey liked his job as a Yakuza so he told him:

“What if I already have a job?”

Chris responded with confusion. I ran in and said:

“I want a job! Give me a job!”
Chris: “After Emiya, I’m not hiring anymore though.”
Me: “But he’s a Yakuza. He has a job. What if I told you he has AIDS?”

Though Chris never admitted to it, he could never have someone with AIDS working in Honda so he let Mickey go. However, I was still in the office with Chris. All of a sudden, Chris got robbed and killed by some BD Donuts fag, but I avenged him.

Soon after Buff changed his name to “Andy Dickings”. Then followed by Helios who proceeded “Rick Dickings”. I changed my name to “Richard ‘Herpes’ Dickings” and Mickey was “Rob Dickings”. Buff newsflashed DICKINGS FAMILY REUNION AT WAWA but it wasn’t a family reunion, it was a opportunity for the RP faggots to be hypocrites and started shooting us.

To show his gratitude, Chris hired me as a Honda Car Dealer. It took awhile for Chris to hire me, and during this time Buff and Mickey were being jailed for using LSD and Acid in public. Mickey somehow got out, but Buff was still in jail by the time I got out of the Honda Co. Building.

On my way to the PD, I heard Buff saying on Skype “HAAAAEEEEELP”. Buff was being interrogated and in Phoenix Wright Case 5 fashion, he ran away to the roof and was stuck there. Me and Mickey wanted to get him down, but Mickey was too crashed because of the Acid and I was selling Hondas to the Police. Buff decided to just jump off the roof and die, so he did.

At the time of this, Helios was cybering with someone named “Dr. Sophia”

Now that all 3 of us (us being Mickey, Buff, and myself) we decided we needed some guns. We were running to the Yakuza hideout but we couldn’t open the door because some doucheclown was waiting outside so he could run in and get some guns. He left and Buff thought it was safe to use some of his Acid supply, so he started tripping. Just then a cop ran out and said “You are under ‘teh’ influence in public. you’re under arrest.” Buff was running around in circles running away from the cop, but just then a 2nd cop showed up and Buff was running from two cops while yelling to Mickey “OPEN THE DOOR!” It took the cops 10 minutes to catch Buff, and he was jailed. I ran to the PD to try and visit him, and while he was being interrogated I accidentally took out my pistol and AK-47. The cop then ran out and did a random gun search. He found that I had two guns and said “Do you have a license?”

I didn’t have a license, so I responded with:

“A license to convert you to judaism? Yea I do.”
Cop: Then show the license.
(Action) Manny “The Taxadermist” converted the cop to judaism.

The cop was confused, and he left the door to the PD open so me and Buff both escaped while both glowing red from being cuffed. We were on the lamb from the cops and they couldn’t catch us because we have connections to the Yakuza.

I eventually got caught, but Buff wasn’t. As soon as Buff got caught, we were both jailed. However, Buff said he was being uncuffed and he ran away so they let him free. For some reason, they let me free too and me and Buff were free.

Mickey and Helios were cybering with Dr. Sophia, so I decided to see what was going on. I walked into the Hospital and found Helios and Mickey and Dr. Sophia. She (who we later found out was a he) led us into a small office. There were guns, but there was also a Kamikaze Bomb Armed Dr. Sophia. We all died in an epic explosion.

Then I shot Helios with a gun and I got banned. I don’t know of the tales that happened later.

This raid involved mostly Mickey, Helios, and myself. While Buff was present, I was never on the servers with him.

Mickey went under the name “Emiya Shirou”
I went under the name “Ronaldo ‘The Bomb’ Meyer”
and Helios went under some weird name that ended in “Eisenberg.”

The first rule of TSRP is that RPing is serious business. Playing off of that Mickey, Helios, and I decided to mess with the police of one server. All 3 of us went into the police department. I pretended to act totally unrelated to Helios and Mickey in an effort to suck up and get some guns, and Helios was standing next to Mickey. Mickey began to talk to the police behind the counter saying “I’d like to report a murder.”

The conversation went something like this:

Mickey: I’d like to report a murder.
Police: Where?
Mickey: Down by the 7-11. The Wawa. The body is still there. It’s gross.
Police: Ok I’ll be right there.

The policeman then walked out from behind the counter, got into his police car, drove to the Wawa/7-11, and then parked his car in the parking lot. All 3 of us had arrived to the 7-11 by the time he was parking. As soon as he parked, I jump kicked the window and broke it. The policeman immediately arrested me. Literally 2 seconds after, Helios blasted him in the face with a Five-Seven. There was a lot of “Wtfz DM”, but the fun wasn’t over yet.

The Police Chief was completely ignorant about the 7-11 shooting, and Mickey repeated the process with him. The Chief fell for it, and he too got blasted in the face. By then, both cops had caught on to Mickey and Helios, but not me. I was still in super suck-up mode. In an effort to get on their good side, I helped them out by Kung-Fuing Mickey and Helios who were shooting up the police station with shotguns and rifles.

During the shooting, I happened to get a shotgun and the police were victorious. Mickey and Helios had respawned halfway across the city. The police guy then opened the door to behind the counter, where I ran in. He was kind to me since I helped, and to show him my gratitude I blasted him in the face with a shotgun. Then the police chief blasted me with a shotgun.

THE YAKUZA TRIALS

This raid only involves Mickey, Helios, and myself again. We came upon a server with over 23 people in it. All of them were happily RPing and didn’t suspect anything of us. We were standing around what used to be the church (as we were playing in mecklenburg_a6) where we got a shout saying:

“WHO WOULD LIKE TO JOIN THE YAKUZA!”

Mickey immediately yelled out: “Me! I want to join!”

The yakuza then led him into a house with a locked door. Me and Helios wanted to get in, so we started Kung-Fuing the guards out front. We got blasted by shotguns. When we returned to the front door, the guards were gone and I was apologizing profusely while back in suck-up mode in an effort to get some guns from the yakuza.

We waited outside the door where Mickey was narrating how the yakuza were putting him through “trials” and a “test”. Soon after, we saw 3 familiar messages in the top right of our screen:

Emiya Shirou SHOTGUN Yakuza
Emiya Shirou SHOTGUN Yakuza 2
Emiya Shirou SHOTGUN Yakuza 3

Mickey had picked up a shotgun and blasted all of the yakuza in the face. Needless to say, he was not accepted into the yakuza.

Mickey was then tempbanned, leaving me and Helios by myself. A guard came out, and luckily he did not shoot me. He shot Helios however because he was Kung-Fuing people next to him. Helios got tempbanned.

Then, I said “I want to join the Yakuza.” The main Yakuza leader walked out and said: “Ok follow me into this room.”

As I walked in, I saw that there were weapons hung up on the wall. I stood in the room as 2 yakuza operatives asked me this question:

“So how long have you been TSrping?”

I paniced and said “Aw crap.” I then picked up the shotgun and blasted them in the face. The response was “WTF HE DID IT TOOO”

I was tempbanned as well.